dasblut311's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Venting Well I needed to move from ujournal quickly and find a new free online journal site quickly before I went out of my mind. So here I am. . .and I'm sorry. why am I sorry, because I am one of those depressed people where when you read their diaries you're like oh shut-up already. I am a person who has no one to vent to and everybody tells their problems to. . .but I can't ever tell them my problems (that's why I need an online journal). So then after a long day of hearing everyones problems I need to let mine out. . .unfortunately for the poor person who is reading this entry you are the victim of my venting (I feel really really sorry for you). Well I've found out today that everybody at my school is scared shitless of me. not too bad, no not bad at all. But it's annoying if I try to talk to someone god forbid they talk back I might beat the shit out of them in their mind. All the people are stupid in this school. i wish that this school would just let me take my SAT's early and my mom would move so that I could go to a local college for some courses. However, I live in the middle of fucking nowhere. . .and life sucks here too (just thought that I should mention that). Well since everybody is scared of me I have my own little private seat on the bus that everybody moves out of when i get on the bus (not that I make them they just started to it. . .weird weird people). I suppose that's a good thing. Anyway I got to school got stalked by that scary 7th grader calling me sugar. Found out my averages for all my classes (ranges from 92-100). Did the normal. Drew in lots of my classes, listened to my alegebra teacher teach me stuff that I aleady know. Listen to the dumb people talk to their boyfriends that are disgusting slime buckets. Found out that the girl I hang with started a fire in the garbage and has out of school for a week. Therefore I definately have no one to talk to and now I'm doubting if she's worth my time. Then I got home fooled around with layouts, called Jack talked about Mr. Horney Tommy (Jacks Boyfriend). Talked with my friend Omi (Katie) about NOTHING! You can actually talk about nothing I have discovered this (isn't it sad). Play more on my little computer and listen to J-Rock and German Metal. Read this guys profile about his girlfriend and how he lives for her and loves her and blah blah blah. . .got really jealous cause I like (maybe a bit more) him and I think he knows it yet he always brings up his ho of a girlfriend. Wanted to curse him off but decided not to cause i'm not good with expressing my feelings and their is no sure way to know that he knows. Cried (which I hate to do and barely ever do.) and the last time I cried was like in 6th grade. Everything is going wrong. School is getting worse, mom is constantly out with all her different boyfriends, dad and mom can't even have a decent phone conversation anymore, i'm torn between my dads house and my moms, all my friends have betrayed me (cept for anthony, jack and christian), found many people who have been lying to me (oh this is going to be the next paragraph), my knee has been getting worse and worse, constantly getting sick emotionally and physically, everything just seems to be collapsing. I have nothing to live for or hold on to anymore. My mom doesn't even understand or comfort me she's to involved in her life. Then omi just has been so caught up with her fiance and thinks that everybody should treat her as queen. Damn I just seem to be blabbing not making a point. . .I am so unorganized with my thoughts. . .so unorganized. †Inka† 7:36 p.m. - 2003-01-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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