dasblut311's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- my blargish nonsense Well after I made my first entry in DiaryLand, I can't help but to think about him. It's been bugging me, inching it's way up my spine and knawing at my mind. I don't know I guess I just need to get it out-let whoever know about it-for some very odd reason. Do you find it sick? (I do). Well I thought that I could let it out of my system with poetry but it hasn't worked so far. There are so many poems that are directed/about him. but none of them have relieved me of this feeling. So I thought I'd just make one entry about it on the web, but that didn't work either. So I suppose you'll have to deal with constantly reading about him, unless of course I tell him (I don't see that happening any time soon). Sorry. Okay, okay. I'll get off the subject of him cause it's annoying and frustrating 'cause I have so many damned mixed emotions and I'm starting to get them confused with eachother not knowing what the fuck to feel. Anyhow I'll talk about my websites. . .(I know boring but at least better than the 'him' subject). WEll as some know I'm into webdesigning (thoug I learned HTML and everything a few months ago and took a break, started about therefore only really having a month of experience with it) and have many websites where I have wrote out the whole entire layout from to . The only problem about me knowing HTML/JavaScript is that when I'm bored and have nothing to do I get a free account at tripod or geocities (just some kind of free hosting) and make one more goddamn website! Like for example yesturday I had nothing to do whatsoever and decided to make a Caumui Gackt(sama) fansite. Though that should also be blamed on Jack 'cause he calls me Kamui Gackt (notice a K instead of a C). So another words it's a Camui Gackt(sama) fansite by Kamui Gackt. (I know I'm such a loser). Then another time I was bored I decided to re-do this whole entire site that I'm the designer for but not the owner (the owner luckily is a very close friend and she liked the new layout of the site). I totally changed the hole theme, title, colour scheme, layout. . .EVERYTHING! So this proves that I have no life. (Great now that brings me to my conversation with Jude, that's going to be the next paragraph). The Jude Anyway Jude is my sisters friend Jen's friend from High School and somewhere along the line Jude and I started talking. Last night at first we were having your normal conversation of 'how are you' blah blah blah ya da ya da ya da. . .then he told me to tell Jen that he might be going to war (he's in the Navy). . .that lead us into i discussion about Bush's presidentcy and out opinions on that (which i'm not going to get into because politics isn't a very good subject to get into. . .end of that). Okay so then we were talking about artwork (Jude and Jen-san are both AMAZING artists) and I asked him why he didn't have an artgallery on-line. He said that he didn't have the time to. . .I replied (since I have an art gallery, writing gallery and a whole bunch of other sites) 'Well I'm one of those people who can honestly say that they have no life." Well this is priceless his reply was 'LOL. . .then get a boyfriend." O_O ::sweatdrop::. . .uh yea right only older guys find me beautiful and hot (as I've said before. . .ugh I don't even consider myself good looking why do they even find me attractive?). . .Well I don't actually know the point of that paragraph (or any of this entry) except as an excuse for me to babble on and on. Aren't you lucky? Another thing that's been happening is my sister and I have been droning on about life and people and sharing out views with eachother (lets just say that phonebill has risen). She told me somethings that she went through when she was still in grade school that I had not heard before. Somethings were quite simular but somethings were different of course. My sister and I hae simular problems when it comes to friends (cept she's had more cause she's a whole lot more trusting than me), very simular experiences. Well my sister never had oodle of friends even though more that I, because whenever she'd make a friend they'd betray her or a different friend that she had known a long time had betrayed her. Luckily for her though she's not as protective of her friends as I am/. . .I'm very protective of my friends and family I take 1000X better care of them that of myself. So when a friend betrays me I'm hurt more than normal because I've gone out on limbs for them, they take it for granted and stab me in the back. (that's like the only good thing about being my friend is once you've earned my trust I'm going to be there for you and stick up for you. . .unless I think that you are very wrong in what you did/said). The only friends that haven't done that are my gay guy friends. ok further in our conversation I expressed my opinion on the goddamn dumb 'golden rule'. . .you know do onto others as you would have done onto you. That one. Well I think that it's totally rediculous and retarted, utter stupidity the rule is. For what if you are a massichist, would you go around hurting people cause that's what you like done to you? That wouldn't be grand now wouldn't it! though perhaps i'm being a bit of a hypocrite for saying that it's cumb because I expect people to be honest to me. ::shrugs::. Whatever, I still think that it's a very dumb, idiotic rule. Oi vey I'm tired now and probably have bored you to no end if you have read all of this. I'm truly sorry. Gomen. †Inka† 3:12 p.m. - 2003-01-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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